Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The Olympian is in my bed
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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