my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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