We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
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