I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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