its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
