He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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