the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
