oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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