I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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