my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
