6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize