standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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