my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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