you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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