oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
