I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
