have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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