There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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