Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
