It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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