You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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