just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
