If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
