Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
try to milk me bitch
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