YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
