if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
