fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
