Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
my shit smells like andre
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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