Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
