i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
