We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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