found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Randomize
