Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize