At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
