you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
