Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
