dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
