I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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