and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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