sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
