@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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