Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
if only i could text you this smell
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
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