I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
