am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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