the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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