is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
