lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
