Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
