Will you blow on my dice?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
