I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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