Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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