Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
