apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i think i just lost a toe
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
