If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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