What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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