Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
