so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
