Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Bring me that man meat
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