Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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