He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
