Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
