The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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