I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
