Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
